Monday, August 1, 2011

Never Give Up, Never Surrender!

This morning, in my fits of anger and frustration, I was all ready to write a post declaring to everyone that I give up, that I was not meant to be a runner.  That is it, I thought, running is not for me.  Everyone else keeps telling me to take a break, give up, pick up something new, so why don't I just say to hell with it.  To hell with the fact that I can't find shoes.  To hell with the fact that my new 10th pair of shoes has not only hurt my ankles but my shins, knees, and IT Band AND to hell with the fact that I almost passed out from running 4 miles this morning on the treadmill.

Is this really all worth it?  All of this tears, frustration, aggravation - why do I do this to myself?  My friends ask would you really be so upset to give up your marathon?  

Would I?  Could I just give it up?  Give in, let go and just move on.  It is only running right?  It is just a form of exercise, so why not just move on and let go of early mornings, frustrated runs, and hot summer days.

I admit it, this morning I whined, I cried, I got angry.  I sent Aaron desperate emails saying "make me smile."  I was a negative nelly.  Aaron's response, besides some humorous websites concerning blogger underwear (yes, underwear for bloggers) stated the following


And you know what?  He is absolutely right!  I love running (even though I hate it sometimes).  I love the relationships I have made through running and the joy of training for a race and accomplishing my goal.  I want to run my marathon and I want to run Falmouth as I have done for the past several years.  I want to be crazy enough to run a half marathon in Vegas a month after my first marathon.  I WANT all of this!!! And I am going to work like hell to get myself there!

Running is NOT easy.  In fact, it is one of the most difficult things I do.  It takes physical as well as mental strength.  It takes courage and perseverance.  I may want to give up, I may feel like I should give up.  But how can I?  I am a runner.  Yes, there are other things important in my life and yes, I have other hobbies, goals, and aspirations.  But included in this is my running and I am going to fight like hell to get myself to the starting line.

I have got to tell you, this mindset is not easy.  Even as I say these things, I know I may cry myself to sleep tonight and beg my husband to rub my painful feet.  But tomorrow I will wake up and chant my new mantra.


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