Friday, February 17, 2012

Clomid Crazies

Ok, so maybe I am not going crazy, just yet, but this title just stuck in my head and I was really excited to use it so there we go Clomid Crazies.   A few days ago I was actually debating posting on this because I was starting to get the idea that maybe this is TMI....and maybe it is.  However, during the week I got such wonderful emails, and PACKAGES from amazing bloggers and readers that how could I not post.  Plus, even more importantly not only am I gaining support, but I feel as if I am also supporting others too.  Thus, if all if this is TMI, I am sorry. I promise to come back next week with some fun sweepstakes that I have been meaning to - think iFitness Bondi Bands galore!

look what I came home to last night from Jenny.  I swear bloggers are the most amazing people ever, this was a "Cheer Up" package, it did the trick ;)

So back to Clomid Crazies.  On Monday, we got the blood tests back and we got good news.  Mainly without getting all technical and stuff, the blood tests showed that I may indeed respond to Clomid.  No guarantees of course, but potential.  On Tuesday, (I like to act fast), we were in the office having an ultrasound to make sure that for some amazing reason that I was not pregnant already, I was not.  So we set out making a plan to start Clomid instead.

This is how I understand it (just in case anyone out there is wondering).  The goal of Clomid is to make follicles in my ovaries grow.  In order to ovulate your follicles need to be at least 22 mm.  I have a lot of follicles, but the largest one is only 8 mm.  My doctor tells me that the little ladies are really trying and that the weight gain might have helped it some, but we need more help.  Thus, I will take Clomid for 5 days.  We will start with half a tablet.  This may be too much but they don't want to risk too many follicles growing at once, so they start low (I worry this will just be a repeat of when I was on Provera where we started low, nothing happened, upped the dosage, and still nothing happened - But I am trying to stay hopeful).  This coming Wednesday, I go back to the doctor to see if a follicle has grown enough.  If it has, they will give me a shot of HCG that is supposed to induce ovulation and then Aaron and I have about 48 hours of potential, what my doctor calls, "baby making time."

So simple and easy, right? HAH.  There are a lot of things that have to fall into line such as my follicle growing, having only one follicle grow (too many and we can't do it), having the shot work, and then actually conceiving.  So yea it is not just that easy but I am trying not to think like that and remain positive and hopeful.  I am really excited to be doing something besides just sitting on my butt, literally (I have run 2 miles this) and gaining weight.  And if this does not work, we still have other options which are promising as well.

Overall,  my thoughts on taking Clomid.  I consider this, just based on my own opinion, a hit or miss drug. It seems like for some people it works and for others it does not, unfortunately it seems like for too many it does not work.  I have heard potential side effects include bloating, moodiness, and hot flashes, basically a severe form of PMS.  I apparently love to hit the bloatiness category and just like with the Provera I feel like a beached whale.  I am also a bit concerned, to be completely honest, that this bloating weight will stay with me like the Provera weight did but I am not letting that bother me too much.

This was a very technical, matter of fact blog post, I guess.  So maybe just a few other thoughts.  Over the past week, I have really tried to relax about this whole experience.  Between having an extremely restful and relaxing weekend last weekend and trying the new Clomid and feeling like I am actually doing something, I feel a lot more "chilled out."  I know this is important so I am going to try and continue that pattern this weekend.  I am also just working on visualizing what I want and take a lot of time to just be peaceful and mindful, especially while at acupuncture (more on this later).

This is either my relaxed/bloated face or my "I just found out a fro yo place is coming in last than a week to a strip mall across the stress from my office" - you decide

I don't know if any of this will work.  If running 15 v. 15.5 miles a week will help or if eating an extra handful of nuts each day will be the trigger that helps us have a baby.  I just don't know.  But I cannot worry about of things that I cannot control any longer.  I will do what I can do for right now including Clomid, extra fats and proteins, moderate exercise, and acupuncture and let G-d take it from there.  As Debbi reminded us "Que Sera Sera,"  "Whatever Will Be Will Be..."

Happy Friday! Have a wonderful relaxing weekend

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