A 5, no 4.1 Mile Race Recap?!?!?

So...I ran a race.  Do you remember this is a running blog? Sometimes I talk about running right? Like here and here.  But I have not been doing much writing on racing or what is to come.  I have not mentioned many goals and aspirations.  Thus, most of you probably did not know that I ran a race last Saturday.  Geez, it is almost a week ago and I am only now getting to the recap.  Lee did his recap ages ago.  That could possibly be because Lee is not as self conscious about his running as I tend to be of late.

Ready to run

As I have mentioned before, running postpartum has been a struggle for me.   I generally have not felt light and airy like others say they experience and many times I do not have it in me to push.  A few weeks ago, however I resigned not to let this get to me.  No more, "woe is me I am not at the same pace I used to be" type thinking.  From now on, I am thinking about goals, where I am going, and finding the runner in me.  It will come.  I know it because I  am going to push it to front and center ;)  Do not mess with me.

Determination

With this in mind, I went into one of my favorite races of all time, the Squirrel Run, on Saturday. This is a 5 mile race put on each year by my coach to benefit ALS.  Leading up to this race, I kept saying to everyone that this would not be a fast race, it would not be anywhere close to what I used to be able to do.  But deep down I kept imagining myself placing and going fast.  I just knew somewhere in my legs was that 37:04 record I held from two years ago.  I even went as far as looking up race times from the year before to get an idea of how fast I had to go.

Initially, I was going to run this race with Aaron and Lee.  I was going to push Lee, but my knees have been acting up and thus Aaron took over the job.  I could have stayed with them and I battled over this choice.  Ultimately, I decided that I needed to run this race on my terms although it made me super sad not to be running with my boys.

Hard not to run with these cuties

As we lined up for the race, I said to my coach (who runs the race too) that I wanted to go fast - he told me to go fast for the last 3 miles.  Of course, I did not listen.  I ran down the starting hill as fast my legs would carry me.  I knew I could do this.  I wanted to push.  I wanted to win! (ok, no I was not winning the whole race but you know what I mean).  So I did. I pushed.  We were not even at Mile 1 and I was huffing and puffing but I did not care, I had something to prove....

Mile 1...7:40

Mile 2 began.... Did I mention my Garmin had died on the way to the race? Yea, uh that was fun.  Well in that way I had my out. It was not my fault I was going out too fast. I did not have my watch.  Even though it would not take a genius to know the smart thing to do would be to slow down.  But I did not want to.  I wanted to see what I had, I wanted to go - so I did.

Mile 2...7:40

Somewhere around Mile 3 it started to get harder.  There were longer larger hills and I was hurting. People were passing me, it made me want to just walk.  I resisted.  I remembered my mantras - I told myself I decided I needed to run this race alone instead of with my family so I better do it; I reminded myself that if I could give birth naturally than I could do this; and I told myself to dig deep

Mile 3 ...???? I don't know, remember the Garmin died and I did not hear what the announcer was saying on times, my guess around 8:05

Mile 4 or shall I say 4.11 was tough, I felt like I was going to throw up (which is the best test to tell you that you are pushing hard enough in my opinion anyway), I felt like I wanted to walk, I felt like my legs were led.  But then I saw it...the finish line?!?!  Now I was just super confused.  I did not have my Garmin and a running brain is a funny thing so I started wondering whether they changed the course distance and I did not know or I was super fast (clearly, you would think it would be the latter).  Turns out neither was right...Either way, I pushed up the hill to the finish.

 Ok, so I recycled this from two years ago but you get the point

What ended up happening?  It appears that somewhere along the course someone took a wrong turn and everyone followed!   Therefore, my official new 5 miler PR is 32:45 (or if you want to be technically my new 4.11 mile PR).

I should have been ecstatic - I was 5th in my age group and the 14th woman.  But in reality I was disappointed.  I really thought I had it in me to place (3rd place in my age group was 20 seconds faster than me).   But it didn't happen, not at this race. Am I still a bit disappoint? Yes.  But do I know it is still in there somewhere and I will continue to chase it? Hell Yes!!!

Post Race Lovins - how can anyone be that upset

What I was much more excited about was Aaron and Lee's race...Lee already told you his story, you will have to wait for Aaron to tell you his own because he rocked it...

How was it for you running postpartum or after a break in running?  Ever disappointed in your race even though you know deep down you should be happy? Ever go the wrong way on race day?