Dream the Impossible Dream

So ummm, I may or may not have a race on Saturday.  Where did that come from?  With all this talk about babies, doulas, and all things little ones, I guess I failed to discuss this upcoming race.  Actually, the real truth is that I have been in a little bit of dreamland or denial, it depends how you look at it.

See this race is a very important race to me.  It is the race I could not run the first year I was with my P.T./coach. I was in bad shape.  My knees were a mess. I remember learning about the race my P.T. was putting on and being extremely angry and sad that I could not run it, but at the same time, I was motivated as all hell to be at race the next year.  The next year, I was at that race, that 5 mile wonderful race in Quincy clocking in a time of 37:12.  But things were bittersweet that year and I was not at my healthiest of points. However, the following year, 2011, was my race year.  I was back, I was healthy, and I was ready crushing it with a 37:04 and placing in my first race every - an extraordinary feeling.

Crushing it in 2011

This year I am running it, rain or shine - most likely rain. In my dreamland, I am going to go out there, throw down sub-8s and win another medal.  No matter that this morning I did 10 minutes at 7:44 pace and it was HARD, no worries that it generally takes me 26 minutes to run 3 miles these days.  Nope no problem because this is a magical race so I am sure things will be fine?  So yea...there is that...

Lovin Squirrels

And then there are my knees.  They are "stirred up,"  a direct quote from my P.T.  He is not worried, which is good because I am doing enough worrying for the two of us.

P.T. and me

It does however mean I can not run with Lee in this race.  I planned to win the stroller category even though there is not one. So now Aaron is braving the stroller challenge.  I could run with him and Lee - that is what I do Run for Fun right?  I love my family so so so much.  It is also an easy way out - just have fun with my boys, don't worry about times. But truth is I also kind of want to race this thing and see what I can do.  Yes, it may mean that I am no where near sub-8s and that Aaron breezes along passed me with Lee laughing about, but I just can't help wanting to try. I feel extremely conflicted about the choice of whether to go at it alone or stick with my men.  I feel excited and guilty about just racing myself but then sad if I do not participate in my boy's first race....

Because really how much of a better view could you get running

Eekkk what to do, what to do....

How do you make a choice of running with someone or without whether it be baby or friend?  Ever get impossible goals stuck in your head?