Tuesday, January 31, 2012

I Can Tell Everyone In the World But I Can't Tell You....

Thank you so much again for being so supportive! I really need the smiling moments these days.  Speaking of which if you want to smile, read this.  If you are like me and forever long to live a life like Jody Sawyer from Center Stage you will love this (Thank you to Ali for posting this link, amazing!)

One day Jody Sawyer, one day..
So I have gone from last week's not being able to even spell Amenorrhea (I kind of still have to sound it out and like to spell it "Ameoherra," if I am being honest) to talking about it the topic A LOT!  So much so that I will probably lose 10 followers for every time I mention the word Amennorrhea.  Yup there goes another one.   But it kind of happens to be the topic of the day or in this case the week.  I promise to have some fun Sweepstakes in the next day or two to lighten the mood.  Nothing like Compression Gear to make people smile, right?

Everyone looks their best in compression right?

So while I have been talking up a bit storm to strangers on the Internet about all things personal, there is still one very important person left to tell about my uhh situation.   It is funny while some of you I have never even met or spoke to before Monday's post, this person I have seen at least once a week for the past three years of my life.  I guess it is easier to tell "strangers" (although we are not really strangers, are we) all the intimate details of your personal life than those who you admire, look up to, and are close with.  But regardless of how hard this may be or the fact that there is a part of me that hopes the problem is a Thyroid issue (not likely but stay tuned), tomorrow morning I will head into P.T and talk to my P.T/Coach.  I envision the conversation going something like this

Me: So we have good news and bad news, the good news is that I had the most amazing 13 mile run ever on Sunday followed by some pretty kick ass 4-mile repeats Tuesday.  The bad news is now I have to tell you all about my personal girl life issues and be all awkward because if I want to have a baby, I have to get my period and to get my period I have to eat more and cut out a day of our training and our MARATHON!!
PT: Uhhhhh...Commence Running to the hills to get away from this crazy woman who wants to tell me way too much information.

That's me, Crazy Woman, I am the one in the cool monkey fuzzy pants

Ok, that is my worst fear and I am absolutely not giving my P.T. enough credit.  My rational mind knows this will not be his reaction.  In fact, about a year and a half ago, I created a much more awkward situation for him when I deferred Marine Corps Marathon and took a 2 month hiatus from training to work on my emotional and physical health.  At that time, I was sooo scared to admit all this to him, worried he would be angry or upset with me, that we would never work together.  In short, I blew the whole thing out of proportion and was shocked and overwelming touched when his response was:

You are an amazing runner.  The way you moved from a 10K to a half and your speed is amazing. You have the ability to be a great marathoner if you want that and I will be here for you when you want it. Come back to me when you are ready whether six months or two years from now.  And then he gave me a hug.

Seriously?!?!  I clearly have the most amazing coach in the world.  It is almost 2 years post this discussion and I still remember it like yesterday. It got me through; it stuck with me; it was one of the most amazing things that anyone had ever said to me.

So for tomorrow, I am hoping for an encore.  Is that really too much to ask? ;) Regardless, I have got to man up and do it.  It has taken me a while but I have found that you get nowhere without being honest to yourself and your providers.  It would be unfair for me not to tell him, for both him and I.   So even though my face might get a little red during my "I don't get my period speech" (kind of like when you watch sex scenes with your parents) tomorrow I am going to bite the bullet and explain to my P.T. what is going on.

In the meantime, the Thyroid issue.  Some fellow bloggers (thank you!) have brought to my attention, through their own experiences, that they have been misdiagnosed or mistreated for Amenorrhea.  They did not need to slow down or gain weight, but rather it was Mr. Thyroid that was causing the problems and they just needed medicine.  While it seems unlikely, to me, that this could be my problem, I am going to my PCP tomorrow, and thus I have already emailed her telling her she MUST give me this test (apparently I know best).  Even if my blood work says my Thyroid is fine, I have to get a cheek swab test to make the actual determination.  So what the hell?  I am always game for the good old cheek swab.

In other news, I am hoping that my PCP can help me find a new doctor or at least a second opinion or person to talk to.  I have gotten some recommendations for different OB-GYNs and Reproductive Endocrinologists (RE) but I am not sure where to go first.  I would really like to go to this woman recommended by my nutritionist but she is booking into July.  Great, real helpful.  When I spoke to the secretary about the waiting list, she pretty much equated getting in to see this doctor to the chances of me getting a spot in the lottery for the NYC Marathon.

Although I have gotten into Falmouth Road Race two years in a row, so you never know (except for the fact that I totally just jinxed myself).  P.S. Once upon a time I did not know you could make a wardrobe out of running gear and wore this outfit every time I ran - yes I did laundry every day.
Further to even get on the list, I need to book an appointment.  So July 6, Dr. H and I have an appointment, so useful.   I am going to continue my search for a doctor combination (OB-GYN and RE) that "gets me."  While many have warned me that a new doctor will say the same thing, I need a doctor that is going to be more compassionate and understanding.  Hopefully my PCP and I can talk through some options.

And if two doctors in one day is not enough, tomorrow also starts Acupuncture.  I was originally going for my neck but now also for this whole "period thing."

Gosh, I am exhausted just thinking about all of this.  So thats it, one day, three doctors, maybe some answers?!?

Do you ever find it hard to open up to the ones you are closest with?  Have you ever tried acupuncture?

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