A Mother's Day Run & Fun

This weekend was a blast! I hope everyone had a great Mother's Day weekend.  I want to be sensitive about this post because not everyone has a mother, not everyone is a mother, some people want to be a mother but can't and some people don't want to be a mother.  Having fallen into the category of not having a  living mom and now being a mom (but also having had trouble becoming a mom), this was a very emotional day for me.  I was excited and happy to celebrate my very first mother's day as a mom, but also there were surprisingly some tears that sneaked up on me - I was very sad I was away from my hometown where my family was and felt excluded and a bit alone when everyone else was going to their families.  I miss my moms (I consider both my mom and my mother-in-law mothers).   I also feel for those who are struggling in many different respects on a day like this. I just felt the need to acknowledge this before going further.   To say, that I get it too.  Life is not always fair, but we do the best we can.

And we have a lot to be thankful for......

Doesn't get much better than this

My wonderful boys

This morning, I started my Mother's Day with what else, a 10 mile run.   I was extremely nervous about this run as my knees have been acting up since Thursday.  Friday and Saturday they felt awful.  I was pretty much expecting this run not to happen.  But I took it easy on Saturday and Sunday I woke up and things seemed to be O.K. so after consulting with Aaron and Robin I decided to go for it - granted Aaron was asleep and maybe so was Robin....Right now, tonight, they still feel O.K. but heading to the coach/P.T. tomorrow.

I could not ask for much more out of this run.  Sure it was nowhere near as fast as I used to be, but I had a hard tiring week, just ran a half, and oh yea there is that whole new mom thing, so I am trying to be gentle with myself.  My knees behaved and I had some nice negative splits with the first mile coming in around 9:40 and the last mile around 8:55 = 1:34:00.  Bigger and better things about this run - it rained and that was sooo refreshing.  Also, for the first time ever I ran with a water belt and it actually worked!! More on this another day...

Thank you ifitness - finally a belt that worked!!!

The better part of Mother's Day came after this run.  After all, shockingly, life does not revolve around running, sorry folks.  Today, for Mother's Day, we went into Boston for the "Duckling Day Parade."  This by far the cutest thing ever.  It occurs at Boston Commons and replicates the childhood book of Make Way for Ducklings.  It does so with a mini-parade with parents and children all dressed up in their ducky costumes.  There are also a ton of activities before but because of the rain we just made it for the parade.....

Lee is a very happy duckling and a cute one at that

Ever try to get a baby to pose for a picture...uhh, granted Aaron and I are not looking either.  I actually love love this picture.

So we marched in the parade and into the public gardens just like in the book.  Then we hung out and looked at all the real duckies for a while and finally headed to Newbury for a wonderful trip to North Face - sometimes it is about running ;)

Lee is not sure about these duckies

In the end, it was a wonderful day.  I am totally zonked and I hope everyone had a great day as well.

How was everyone's weekend?

Aaron's Big Year

Hi everybody!  Remember me?  It's been a while.

I have a bit of a confession to make; I've owed Steph this post for about 5 months now.  Back in December, I hit a major low point in my running.  While juggling the new baby, recovering new mommy, anxious puppy, and working from home, I stopped exercising altogether with the exception, of course, of hockey.  It wasn't healthy and on New Year's Day, I took the first step to changing that by running a 5K.  It was symbolic in that the previous year marked my first 5K or race of any kind.  A year later, I officially dropped 1 minute off my time, but added 3 or 4 from my PR.  I was happy that 3 or 4 weeks off was still enough to do better than the previous year, but I was bummed that I let things go on as long as they did.

 Note how exhausted I look

With that, I set out to keep myself running for the full year.  I called 2013 "Aaron's Big Year".  The goal was to run at least one race every month and lose weight in the process (more on that later).  While the intention was there, the funds weren't and I had to cross 5 races off my list.  Back in January, I decided that I was going to run the New Jersey Half Marathon, but as April turned into May, I knew this wasn't meant to be.  It was destined to be "Victim Race #6".

While in New Jersey for Steph's race weekend, I told her about my disappointment in setting this goal only to have it escape my grasp.  Last weekend was supposed to be MY race weekend too.

At the Expo, Steph generously offered to register me for the race, but we decided against it.  We couldn't afford it and I hadn't run more than 8 miles in one stretch (and that was back in August 2012).  I resigned myself to let this one go and hopefully catch another one later.

As fate would have it, our friend spontaneously got sick and offered me her number.  This set the gears turning.  Could I even run that distance?  I just got diagnosed with tendonitis in both of my ankles.  How couldn't I get hurt?  With Steph's urging, I decided to go for it anyway.  My strategy was to take my time, knowing that the goal is to merely finish unscathed.  I could walk each water stop and run the mile and a half between them in order to keep my legs fresher.  I'd have fuel and water throughout.  With the plan set, I said "why not?"

And if you know Steph, giving into her demands was a huge mistake...

Mind you, the last major complicating factor was that I seem to have misplaced my Garmin and, thus, have no way of knowing my pace and adjusting accordingly.  I've run the last 5 months or so without one and have become a Zen runner (more on that later), but how in the world could that work in a race?

On race day, I did my usual warmup routine as if 13.1 miles was just my usual distance.  When the race started, I ran like all my regular runs and let people pass me.  Tons of people passed me, but I found a stride that was comfortable and my breathing was stable.  After the first mile, I saw a clock showing the gun time of 13 minutes and figured I ran a 10 - 10:30 opening mile.  Way too fast for this distance!  So I tried to slow up and calm myself down some more.  A trip through the first water stop and two miles later, I cross the 3rd mile checkpoint at 33 minutes.  So much for slowing down.  However, I still felt comfortable and smirked at people passing me while huffing and puffing.

Miles 4 and 5 were interesting because the race snaked through several small blocks.  While I was making a left turn, there were the runners ahead of me running at me and making a left turn at the same intersection!  It's crazy watching a sea of people running at you and veering off at the last second.  I looked for Steph, but couldn't find her.  Oh well.  Maybe at the next intersection.  I finished Mile 5 and reveled in the fact that I had only once run a race as long and felt like death at the time. At 55 minutes (minus 3 minutes or so), I had run a few minutes slower than that 5-Miler and still had tons of energy!  I was slowing down somewhat and feeling good, but still going fast.

I hit Mile 6 and crossed the 10K marker at 1:07 and all of a sudden, the 2:20 pacer passed me and my right achilles tendon flared up.  I ran to the end of the bridge and started stretching it out.  The honeymoon was over and I knew I'd have to really push myself through the second half of the course.  But off I went, running between water stops, walking at the water stops, stretching out my achilles, and repeating.

Miles 7 through 10 were a blur.  I probably zoned out a bit or got really into a train of thought - possibly even visualizing myself finishing with Steph there to congratulate me.  I was running at a 2:30 or so pace and was telling myself that I'd be ecstatic crossing the finish line at 2:40.  But with each water stop, my achilles felt tighter.

Even worse, I still hadn't heard from Steph.  The finish line was only a few blocks walk back to Mile 9 or so and I was somewhat counting on her to help me through the end.  Little did I know she wasn't as far ahead of me as I thought.

At Miles 11 and 12, I hit the wall hard.  I made the last turn up the beach and felt like every other race I've ever run - regardless of how much was left, my legs were on autopilot and would carry me to the finish... or so I thought.  I ran past the last water stop, which was a big mistake.  I had to walk several times in those 2 miles and couldn't get my legs to keep going.  They were spent, but I kept getting closer to the finish.

Then disaster struck!  All of a sudden, my left hamstring locked up with a quarter of a mile left in the race!  I immediately stopped running and stretched at the nearest barrier.  I didn't notice it at first, but that's where one of the race photographers set up shop.  So there's me, wincing in pain while the photographer is snapping away.  I was pissed and when I finally felt good enough to walk, I limped past him.  Steph saw the pictures and said she's never seen me make those faces before.

I was content walking to the end.  I didn't want to get hurt.  Somebody passed me and told me to keep running, so I did.  I don't know why she was an authority on my ability to continue on, but at that time, she was just what the doctor ordered.  I started to hobble and felt awful.  Then I realized that if I speed up, I could possibly stretch my legs enough to not cramp.  Off I went past the woman who lifted my spirits and galloped across the finish line in 2:30:29.  Were it not for the cramping incident, I could've run it in under 2:30, but that's for another day.

Not the best pose, but I needed fuel after the race, but ate too quickly and was really nauseous.

I was proud of myself and shocked that I pulled it off without training, but still Steph was nowhere to be found.  She was at the massage tent cooling off!  All in all, I had a good time running the race and have to give myself a pat on the back for seizing the opportunity and greatly exceeding my expectations.

As Steph says Postpartum PRs! 

I may still be sore, but I have a new medal on the wall, a new PDR, and the confidence in myself that Steph will have some competition in the near future!

Now the only question is what is next....

Ever run a race a whim? What should I do next?

A Postpartum PR - The New Jersey Half Marathon

Yesterday, I woke up at 4 a.m. and drove from N.J back to MA after days filled with memories of race weekend festivities and activities, and of course the race itself.  I am sore, in pain, and could not be more excited to get back into racing! Running here I come!!!  We were not even out of the parking lot from the N.J Half Marathon when I began texting friends to ask about upcoming races and how we could potentially be a part of them - Falmouth, Philly, Divas - please let me in!!!

But before we get to my dreams and aspirations (a whole other post indeeds) let;'s just start with the past 72 hours of the N.J Half Marathon.  And with that I would just like to preface the fact that I have not run over 10 miles since February 2012.  In fact, I purposely reduced all running and gained weight to get none other than beautiful Baby Lee

Worth it!

While I did run during pregnancy, it was nowhere near what I was doing pre-pregnancy.  After pregnancy, I did not do anything until about week 7 (mid-January) and did not run until February - and it has not been easy going.  I know some people come back fast and in all honesty I am super jealous but for me its been a bit slow.  That is O.K though, I am happy to be slow (for me anyway) if it means running with the family.

Nothing like it!

Thus, I had no idea what this half marathon had in store for me.  My coach told me to just find a simple comfortable pace until mile 8 and if I could speed up after that to go for it! If not, just hang on for dear life.  So clearly he was not expecting too much either.  That's ok by me, either was I, although I secretly hoped for a 1:50ish time.

Expo - Mommy Runners and their babies and BOBs - So wonderful to have a playdate at the expo with Jen, Liz, Lucas, Lee, and Wyatt.  These ladies are the best check them out - sweetest ladies, cutest babies - enough said.

So Sunday morning we woke up at the wonderful 3:45 hour and headed to the race.  I say we meaning Aaron and I...more on that later.  Pre-race it was cold and windy but I huddled together with Jen and Aaron and kept warm.  We stood huddled in the corral together musing about why on earth we did this. Then, there was no time for second guessing we were off.

Silly me, I thought I could keep up with my fast friend - hah.  I quickly lost sight of her as she cruised forward, but you can read her report on that.  The plan in the beginning seemed to be going O.K, I held a steady 9:00 mile pace for the first three miles but was completely parched.  I had such a dry mouth.  All week I was plagued by said "dry mouth"  and the first five miles of this race were no different.  So the first three to five or so consisted of me determining exactly why my mouth was dry, exciting stuff I know.  I resigned to blame it on my medication - more on that later.  I even went as far as to try Gatorade at the second water stop - that lasted for about a sip and then I just kept with water.  I pushed on through those first five miles scientifically determining through my race mind intelligence the origin of said dry mouth while stopping at each water stop.  The water stops, by the way were wonderful - every 1.5 miles.  It was exactly what I needed but I could have used more and hope that at some point I can learn to actually use this thing....

I gave birth, I have hips, Water Belt Here I Come!

By mile 3 I was warm, I did the impossible, I sacrificed my favorite, Boston running shirt.  I gave it a kiss and let it go...

Luckily last night I found a lone one on the rack at City Sports and scooped it up.

By Mile 4, I was feeling it and not in a good way.  Mile 4 and 5 came in at 9:13 and 9:26. People kept passing me and that is when I heard it - the 2:00 hour pacer.  It was so defeating.  I did not want to run a 2:00 hour marathon, I knew I could do better than that.  And yet here was Mr. Pacer coming up and pacing me (although he was totally awesome).  I ran with them for a half a mile and got my motivation for the next several miles to push on. Mantras came quick and easy

"I am not a two hour half marathoner" "I am not a two hour half marathoner"


Although in retrospect, I should have hung out with the two hour pacer.  (Please note, nothing wrong with a two hour half marathoner. For me, I was just hoping to go under 2:00 hours.  This race humbled me and reminded me how hard running really really is).  I continued with my mantra as I could hear the two hour pacer trying to get ahead of me.  And just like that my determination and old race junkie self came rushing back  I repeated my mantra; I started to play the game of who could I pass; I added new mantras

"I gave birth naturally, I can do this"  "
"Embrace the pain, let it be there" (coming directly from a birthing mantra)
"Dig Deep"

Mile 6-9 - 9:01, 9:03, 8:52, 8:57

Around Mile 10, things got hard.  I kept up with my mantras and determination, but alas my body was ready for this thing to be over.  I watched with sadness as the two hour pacer passed me.  I saw him to catch up to the 1:55 pacer and my crazy race mind determined that the 2:00 hour pacer was going too fast - that had to be it, even if my Garmin said differently.  The last 2.1 miles were tough.  We headed up some hills and onto the boardwalk where we were met with the wind.

I wanted it to be over, I was done, I even decided ok so I am not a two hour half-marathoner but I am a 2:05 half-marathoner. So I started to say "I am not a 2:05 half marathoner."  Adjust, embrace, it is O.K.

Recently, people have expressed that runners are a different breed.  We unite.  When you run a race you feel that.  At Mile 11, I began to play the "do si do"game with a guy.  He told me Let's go! I did, I passed him and told him to keep up. He passed me. I kept him in sight.  We kept each other going.  He won out in the end, but I was happy to once again have made a friend to lean on in running.  There is nothing like it.

Mile 10-13.1 - 9:58, 9:01, 9:44, 10:00, 4:47

And then that was it.  I crossed that wonderful finish line - 2 hrs and 2 minutes after I started.  My joy of racing had returned.  Did I truly want to have been able to go faster? Yes.  But given that I am just back to training, given that I have not run this far in a long time, and given that I just had a baby  - I will damn well take it. So there, hypothalamic amenorrhea.

Once I finished the race, I was done.  I kind of staggered around for a while and settled finally right outside the massage tent to eat a big soft pretzel, put my name in for my massage, ice,

Soft pretzels at the finish - hell ya!

And oh wait for Aaron....I will let him to tell you that tale.

This is too long of a post and you probably all have given up on me, but I wanted to highlight two more things about this race.

1) DO IT!!!!
    - It was completely well organized, awesome, friendly, and fun;
    - The medals were amazing;
    - There was water and Gatorade throughout;
    - Ice and massages at the finish along with big soft pretzels;
    - The shuttle buses were a breeze;
    - The race course was excellent - it did some fun loops to always keep you interested during which    
      time you could see other runners running different miles; and
    - Most would say it was flat and fast - I was not used to anything resembling a hill so I would say it  
      did have some rolling hills but a good mix

I will see you in 2014!!!!

2)  I have caught the racing bug. I AM BACK.  The ride home was spent deciding what other races to do and convincing friends to join in.  A good portion of last night was spent online determining my race schedule.

Alright, I promise I am done.  Happy Tuesday all!  I hope you are still with me at this point and if you are thank you!!!!

Do you ever get that "dry mouth" problem?  Who can tell me how to run through and drink from those little water cups at water stops or better yet how to actually use my water belt?  Who else raced this weekend?

You Know it is Race Week....

The countdown has officially begun.  On Sunday, I will run the NJ 1/2 Marathon, which I was originally expected to run as the full last year and then downgraded to the half and then deferred because you know...

Forget 1st trimester, the first 18 weeks of pregnancy were hard for me

This is my first true race in over a year.  The last race I truly raced was back on February 6, 2012 - yes I remember the date...

February 6, 2012

Unless you count this race....

November 22, 2012...

At least it did its job...

November 23, 2012

Ok back to the point, it isofficia lly race week for me and it has not been such a week in a long long time.  In fact, it feels like my first half marathon ever!  But even with feeling like I have never run a half those things that you do in the week leading up to the race never seem to change and come right back like old habit.  Here comes the list of the week

Top 10 Ways You Know it is Race Week

10)  All of your workouts, runs etc. sucked and you have convinced yourself your race will too;

9)  You have been thinking about the perfect playlist all week and yet spend the late hours of the night before the race finalizing the exact dream playlists as all your other playlists will not work in this situation;

8)  You have convinced yourself you are dehydrated and now must go out and buy several extra tubs of Nuun to ensure hydration is complete;

7) You can't decide whether the race or the expo and friends is the more exciting part of the weekend;

6)  Instead of sitting around the day before the race to rest up you go and have a blast and spend too much money on things you do not need, but really do need as a runner, at the expo;

5)  You have been debating outfit choices since the beginning of the week and still have not decided what to wear;

4)  You have the obligatory dream about forgetting your Garmin or showing up late to the race altogether;

3)  You come up with phantom injuries and illnesses;

2)  You make trips to the doctors for such phantom illnesses during which time you find you wasted a $25 copay on said phantom injury or illness; and 

1)  You ditch the heels and refuse to wear anything but sneakers 24/7, even to work

So here we go 13.1, I am coming to get you.  It's go time!

How do you know it is race week?

Running Reflections - Boston

I know I wrote about my Boston experience more quickly than others.  I understand.  People cope and reflect in different ways.  For me, it is talking or writing about it, that is just who I am.  Thus I hope you do not mind if I reflect some more after this week writing, blogging,....and of course running helps....

This morning I set out on my 7 mile run (equipped now as always with my cellphone and my Road ID).  The goal was to run to Aaron's Temple softball game and meet him and Lee there.  I knew this run was going to be different for me.  Last night, I put on my Ipod a portion of my marathon playlist those songs that speak to me, that motivate me, that heal me.  This morning I considered just listening to a book on tape, but I could not.  I knew I needed this run to reflect, to be proud, to be strong (p.s. I know "Boston Proud, Boston Strong" is sort of maybe cliche but it is just so true that you just have to love it).

Post Run Smiles

Mile 1 -  Songs - Eye of the Tiger, We're Not Gonna Take It
I felt strong, I felt relieved, I felt sad, I felt proud.  I did not feel scared. As others have said and felt in the past week, this week's events have hit home for me in a way that no other tragedy has.  I lived in NJ on September 11th.  I remember it vibablly, I remember the atrocity.   It was awful, but it was not like this.  This was different.  I was there, I thought my family was there, I had friends there.  As the week has gone on, I have come to the realization of how close we were.  How we did not even realize the full effect of what was going on only a block away; how if one thing had changed we would have been crossing that line at the same time, the wrong time.  This was an attack on my home, my friends, my family, my sport....

Mile 1 8:42....

Mile 2 - Songs - Lean on Me, Don't Stop Me Now
I have never more proud to be a runner.  To sport the half marathon shirt I was running in.  To be running down the street was enough to make me proud.  To show that terror won't stop me, won't stop us.  Do not mess with runners, do not mess with Boston.  Do not mess with my people, my family.

Mile 2 8:48...

Mile 3 - Songs - Shut up and Let Me Go, Shippin Up to Boston
Hitting my trail, thinking of Robin and I running last Monday - those last 8.2 miles.  Remembering how much I love racing, love running.  Thinking of how much I want to continue it - for the friends, for the fun, for the family for the love of the game...

Mile 3: 8:37

Mile 4: Songs - I wanna go, I've Had the Time of My Life
Seeing other runners on the trail, nodding to everyone; things seems as they always have except today you make the extra effort to say hello to your fellow runner to offer your congratulations.  I think of all my friends who I know through "real life" and through blogging and all their friends and family who ran last week and remember.  I think of those who ran towards the mayhem; my physical therapist, who like so many others, was a block away, who was held back but said NO he was going in to help.  I feel guilty that I was not one of those people, that I ran away.  That all I could think of was to make sure I could confirm my family was safe and in that moment it meant calling as many times as I could to hear Aaron's voice (probably 100s) and to run away.  But I do not judge myself or others.  We want safety, we need safety.   I am so thankful that I live in Boston, that I live in a world where there are good people, that people are safe, and that they caught them. So many of us, however, are only starting to heal and have a long way to go physically and mentally - we will move through it together, as always

Mile 4: 8:45

Mile 5 & 6: One Way or Another, The Edge of Glory
The hard part now, lots of hills, too many hills.  Thinking again of last week of Newton Hills, Heartbreak Hill.  No, I did not run the whole marathon.  Yes I was running "fresh" that day but if I can do that, if we can get through that (and I don't just mean the marathon...) we, I can do this.  I will push. I will finish.

Mile 5 & 6: 8:47, 8:55

Mile 7:  Born in the USA, Give Me Everything, Que Sera Sera
Back on the street, watching all the people getting ready for church walking with their families - happy.  I can do this.  Feeling proud, feeling strong.

Mile 7: 8:32

At the end, I was at a softball field just in time to meet my family for a day of family softball where the dads play and the moms, babies, and puppies cheer on and have social hour.  It was a wonderful morning. It was happy, it was normal.  The run was fast and strong for me.  The fastest since giving birth to Lee.  The morning, the people, the run, the other runners it all gives me hope, it gives me confidence, it gives me faith, and it gives me strength.  Boston will survive.   We will go on.  We will keep on running.

Running the Boston Marathon - Reflections

There have been a few times I have wished to blog to you all.  With wonderful news about jogging strollers, great runs, or just to say hello.  This is not the post I envisioned writing yesterday at mile 26 where I had just run the last 8.2 Miles with my favorite running partner in the world.  This is not what  I expected to write as I sit here watching the news this morning....

Last year, I cheered on Robin at the Boston Marathon.  I was about 10 weeks pregnant, if that, and very sick.  Last year it was extremely hot - all runners struggled.  Aaron and I went to Mile 12, 18, and the finish as always.  I remember at 18 giving Robin a big hug and thinking that I would run with her next year.

This year, we planned to go to Mile 12 and Mile 18.  We were not going to the finish.  I was not going to run with Robin.  She was way to fast for this postpartum chick.  Aaron yesterday morning encouraged me to try a mile with Robin, Robin seconded, I was in.  The plan was to run a mile with her, if I could do that, and then run back to my baby and husband.  We joked that I would end up running to Boston.  Did I believe I would be in Boston yesterday?  No.  Was I?  Yes.

I was selfish.  I was greedy.  I do not know what I would have done if something had happened to my wonderful baby boy and husband.  I jumped in at Mile 18 with Robin and she told me she hurt.  She had lost her salt tablets, a much much needed part of her race plan, and thus her stomach her, her body hurt, and she could not take her nutrition.  But Robin is a strong runner.  She is the runner I aspire to be.  I knew I would not leave her. I knew she would eventually leave me but I would stay with her and we would run together as long as I could keep up and as we had so many times before I got pregnant and she got FAST.  We stopped at medical tents to get any type of salt possible.  I talked to Robin about anything I could, I screamed to the crowd and told them to scream for Robin - and they did.  She got blisters, her stomach cramped, she was in pain, but she was strong.  Strong as runners are. She dug deep, she moved past the pain, something only runners get. As we got close I asked her right or left on Hereford? She, as a true Boston runner, responded

RIGHT ON HEREFORD, LEFT ON BOYLSTON

And she took off running her race, leaving me in the dust.  We finished, well Robin finished in 3:44 or 2:05 p.m.  I will let her tell you more...

We made our way through the finish.  My job, take care of a runner who ran a marathon. I did not worry about much else.  When we found her husband and walked to a nearby hotel, I called my husband. He was so mad at me - as he should have been. I was selfish.  While I was helping a friend, I had left my family.  He told me they went home and I was on my own - he would not take my calls after that (I deserved it). We left the hotel a little while later and tried to go to the T.  They told us we could not.  We were confused.  We started to walk down Newbury, we heard a rumor someone died and shook it off as a tragic marathon injury.  We met a fellow friend and blogger Dani.  She was white.  She told us she just crossed the line and there was a manhole cover that exploded.  Her father was there.  Her phone was dead.  None of us believed it - we expected the worst.  She used Robin's phone and called her dad and then we waited with her.  Robin gave her food and her clothes.   We waited and knew terror had struck.

Meanwhile, I tried desperately to call my husband.  I kept imagining that he had actually come to the finish with the baby to surprise me.  That he was not home.  He would not answer.  I could not get through.  I tried, my husband, my brother, my father - the only cell numbers that I still sadly know by heart - no answer. It was so hard to get through.  Everyone was making calls.   Thankfully Aaron and baby were at home.  Aaron was so angry he had come home, took care of the baby, and watched Netflix. He thought my family was calling him because I was trying to get him to pick up so I could apologize. He had no idea. Finally, he saw the word explosion through a text and called.  I was never so happy for Aaron to be angry.  To have gone home.  To be safe

At this point,  as I had been called, we had already started walking West.  Aaron told us to keep walking to get across the bridge to Cambridge. I told him not to bring the baby, to leave the baby with our cousin and come pick us up.  We walked all the way to Central Square.  Robin had just run 26.2 miles and on we walked.  Robin handed over her space blankets to wandering runners.  We patted other runners on the back.  We saw runners looking dazed, I am sure we looked the same....All we knew was we wanted to get away from Boston as far away as we could and home to our babies...

Aaron picked us up, we drove home, I hugged my husband, I kissed my baby, I called my family.

When Robin has a bad day, she will tell you she runs a 4 hr marathon.  She would have been there.  She says if I have not pushed her, she would have been there. I say this not to be a hero, not to be cocky.  I say this to be thankful.  Thankful that I was selfish that I ran with her.  Thankful my husband was angry and took our baby home to safety. To know things happen for a reason, that Robin and I were meant to be friends, to be running partners, to be family.

My heart breaks today.  I will wear my running gear.  I will pray for families.  I will run again.

Running Rejuvenated

I have not been a mom for too long yet, so I do not pretend to know any or all of the secrets to being a mom (in fact I pretty much learn from talking to other moms), but in the few weeks since Lee's arrival I have quickly realized how difficult a job being a mommy is.  Babies are a lot of work!!! I know people joke about this - about not getting sleep, about not having any time, but seriously babies are really really hard!  You really give 100% of yourself to these little human beings and it is not an easy thing. Somewhere in the middle of the 11 p.m. and 3 a.m. feeding sessions and lots of crying (sometimes me more than the baby), I started to lose a bit of myself.  As soon as you give birth, you become mommy 24/7 and there really is not time for anything else in the beginning.  In those early weeks, if I ate breakfast by 11 a.m. it was a miracle, if I showered before 6 p.m. or at all even, it was a blessing and a gift.  All of this takes a very heavy toll on a person.  That is why babies have to be soo darn cute, otherwise we may all go insane. Don't get me wrong, Lee is an excellent baby and I love him.  I also have a ton of help from Aaron, but it is still a big life change and hard stuff.   Did I mention being a mom is hard? My hat is officially off to anyone who is a stay at home mom - a job I consider the hardest one out there.

I may be biased but so darn cute I can't take it

I did not realize until today how much a part of me was missing.  Buried deep, forgotten due to lack of sleep, round the clock feedings, and continued diaper changes was a part of me that was a little lost.  A part of me that makes me, well, me.  That makes me feel happy, energetic, and alive.  Lee makes me feel these things too, but there was another part I was missing, that I have been missing - it is the runner in me.  It is the person pre-pregnancy that you know through this blog that loves to hit the open road, that loves a challenge, that loves to RUN and RUN HARD!  I set out on my trail today.  The trail that I trained for my marathon on, the trail that I run with my favorite running partner, and the trail that I know oh so well that I don't even need a watch to tell me what mile I am at.  And as I ran, I really felt like I was flying.  Cliche? Maybe.  Blame the hormones.  But just listening to my music, being on my trail, it all came flooding back to me.  A part of me that I had forgotten and was so happy to be reunited with!

Ooo right I love running, can't you tell?!?

Like I said, I have not been a mom for too long but I have already learned in order to be a good mom you have to make some selfish time for yourself and I can not think of anything better than hitting the open trail and remembering what it was like before I was Mom.  To have something just for me, to have time to be myself, to forget stressors, demands, and priorities and just focus on the task at hand.  Sure it is extremely difficult for me to run even 3 miles right now and it hurts like Mile 25 at a marathon hurts, but it is my medicine, my release,  my rejuvenation, and my gift to myself.  To allow myself that alone time, that time to just be me and to then be able to come home refreshed and renewed to some very cute men!

How do you take time for you? Do you feel guilty taking time for yourself?  Is it hard to find that time?